February 23, 2009

All over the world the United States of America is seen as the land of opportunity, or at the very least my Grandfather thought so. Personally I can not fathom the sacrifice and commitment it takes to completely uproot not only one’s life but family to begin fresh roots in foreign soil. Although this is something that I am unable to fathom, this is exactly the action my Grandfather believed was necessary for the betterment of his children, their livelihood and for the future generations of his household.

It is today that I begin a fresh chapter in my life, one without a Grandfather who I foolishly thought would always be there. It was not more then a short 6 weeks ago when my father rang my phone, telling me that Grandfather, or ‘gon-gon’ I would call him, was in the hospital and that I should visit him. He was diagnosed with the final stages of lung cancer my father would later inform me. From that day onward, I made it a point to make time in my schedule to visit. I did, every other day for 2 weeks - often I’d catch him asleep or resting. Our conversations ran short, and simple. The language barrier was just too great, he never fully understood English and my Mandarin is plain pitiful. I never had the opportunity to really know my grandfather, for this land of opportunity he moved his family to was then, and is still now very foreign to him. Everything I’ve learned about my Grandfather was told to me through stories and past memories of his children - my father, uncles and aunt, along with my mother and grandmother.

My Grandfather was a soft spoken man, who only wanted to better those around him - his friends and most importantly his family. In this sense he had no self-regard, and has been, along with my grandmother and father, one of the most generous and selflessness persons that I have come to known. He never made his faults, short comings, or personal qualms a burden to any one of us, which maybe why the doctors discovered his condition so late. Even when I visited him in the hospital he did not want me staying too long, for he thought I had other obligations to attend to - there were none, but to comfort him I kept my visiting time to no more then 2 hours. He was a proud man, and his dignity and wishes were not something for me to take. My Grandfather did not want others to see, or even know that he was suffering.

He led a simple life of needs rather then wants, and was a man of few words. Always putting others before him, and never thinking twice about lending a hand where a hand was needed. My father told me a 5 or so hours before my Grandfather passed that Grandfather had always wanted to do something ‘grand’ for the family, however what he had in ambition he lacked in ability, and would not accept charity nor pity. The few minutes that my brother, father and I stood in my Grandfather’s critical care unit’s room was the most helpless situations I have been in. Never mind the pain and difficulty, to see him tethered up to all kinds of medical equipment, monitors, and iv lines mixed with the burdening of my father connecting to his father, and my grandfather fighting to hang on until his only daughter arrived from out of state and knowing that there was absolutely nothing I could do was frightening. Through my father I told him that I was extremely proud of him, and that I loved him very much - all the while angry at myself for not paying that much more attention in Chinese school, and failing to communicate with him all through these years. This was important to me, that he knew and although he probably did know it was important to me that he hear it from my mouth.

As we left the his room that evening, the doctor informed us that he had maybe 4 hours to go…I wished to stay around, however my Grandmother convinced the few of us that Grandfather’s will was pretty strong and who knows…he just might make it until my aunt’s plane arrived the following morning. There was nothing else we could do and sticking around wasn’t helping anything or anyone. I made the decision to return home, and although fully understanding that that was most likely the last time I would see my Grandfather alive, I held onto a shimmer of hope that he would overcome this hurdle as he had many hurdles in the past to live another day.

He passed slightly after midnight. The immediate family joined hands and prayed for his soul, and so the chapter ends. I saw the sorrow in my grandmother’s eyes, my father’s stride and felt it deep in my own heart. I also quickly realized that I could continue to beat myself up for not spending more time with my Grandfather, to get to know him better, to hear the stories from his own mouth and to honestly share a good laugh. He would want all of us to go on living our lives, and fulfilling our dreams. I figured that I owed him at the very least that much, to continue going about my business, to continue to grow, to benefit any and everyone that shares my path, and to cherish his ideals, philosophy and memory.

What I have lost with my Grandfather, I will be sure to make up with my Grandmother and everyone else. Family gatherings should be a privilege rather then a chore, and at the very least I’m going to need to brush up on my Mandarin. Not saying that I will read and write, but surly listen and speak. A few of you are also clued into my current plans, I’m bent on making it all happen - more so then ever now.

Gramps - I’ll always love and cherish you, and be forever proud of you. Thank you for everything.

-Wallace

After waking up too late and missing the Santa Cruz finish on President’s Day, I dashed out to Downtown San Jose to catch the start of Stage 2 of the Amgen Tour of California.

Got absolutely soaked in the process, but snapped a few frames. Nothing great but was happy to just catch the entire 15 or so minutes.

Rock Republic’s Rock Racing team is arguably the sport’s most controversial team, but they do have a certain flair. Gone are the flashy lime green De Rosa’s and in their place to my surprise are actually Kestrel’s. The team was on Kestrel Evokes, and the usual fleet of Cadilliac’s were on site. However, I did not see their huge tour bus and Rolls Royce.

Go Floyd!

rest on Flickr.

-Wallace

Today is the day after Valentine’s, February 15th for those of us who observe Valentine’s. It’s 10am, 47° F, raining, Crystal’s still asleep and the hallways are crowded with departing wedding guests. Wedding Guests? Yes. Rather then ‘get away’ this weekend, we ‘got away’ - Rather then planning, booking, and taking a weekend trip out, we stole away in a local hotel. A Kimpton Hotel, the Cypress Hotel in Cupertino. For those of you who don’t know its bar used to be a local destination for a few of us, Dennis the previous bar tender had a plethora of global knowledge and for the most part we would always leave inspired - not to mention fat, jolly and happy. I know Duan and Kim also visit this hotel often from his business trips up from Aliso Veijo. Alright, Alright…so just what did we do?

This is actually the first Valentine’s that Crystal and I spent together. We met about a month after Valentine’s in 2007, then was in Paris the week prior to Valentine’s in 2008 - she actually spent Valentine’s with her mother in Bath, UK while I was back here cheering on the Amgen Tour, and although this was our first Valentine’s together it was anything but typical. We’ve both been extremely busy, and although I had dinner and evening festivities lined up we hit a bump in the road and did dinner on Thursday instead. Therefore on Saturday we slept in and stumbled into The Cypress around 3pm. Our various plans for the evening included attempting to steal a table at Gochi, crashing the wedding festivities downstairs (this changed after we found out they didn’t have an open bar), re-visiting Yume-Ya, trying out Hoshi, and if all else failed Ocean Blue Sushi Club and drinks at Park Place.

Yes, this was a bit spontaneous, but that’s how we roll. I had a fabulous time, and if Crystal were awake I’m sure she would agree.

So just what is it about Valentine’s that has so many people running for the hills? Guys generally attempt to avoid it, Women hike up their expectations, and this is just my theory, or failure at observation - but the more and more they’re let down Valentine’s becomes just another typical day. So with this being said, I think Sia and I have agreed over lunch earlier this week that this year was utter chaos. Both of us in an incredibly pre-occupied state of our lives, and just fortunate enough to have girlfriends who are not only incredibly understanding, but easy going and ironically just as busy.

Well, hope the bunch of you are having and incredible weekend. I’m going to wake Crystal up as my coffee just ran out, and breakfast is waiting for us downstairs. Hopefully the rain will cease by tonight, we’ll catch Lance as he wraps up Stage 2 of the Amgen Tour on Monday.

Happy Valentine’s

-Wallace

Today’s been one of those I hate the world, because the world hates me type of days - although not even close to true it sure feels like it. I’ve been on more of an warpath with myself then anyone or anything else. Saying that it’s been a rough week is like calling man’s first steps on the moon a minor accomplishment.

Those who know me well can easily sense when I’m stressed, upset or just generally abnormal. Although I’m usually the private personality, there are times where I’ve just had enough and this has been one of those weeks. There have been things going on that are out of my control and there are things within my control that I just have decided to rid of…for my own sake of course. As selfish as that is.

The Father’s been hospitalized for over 2 weeks now, and just last Friday - The Son told The Father that he has lung cancer. The Son being my father, and The Father being my grandfather. My grandfather is righteously angry, lost and more so then anything terrorfied. None of us were placed on Earth to last an eternity, however we never expect to go as well…it’s a dismal reality that all of us will face one day, a day where we realize we’re close to the end. For some of us it will be relief, for some of us it will be panic, and for some of us it will mean fulfillment. We live on the earth; eat, breathe, and harvest from the earth, and when we pass, we will become earth. In some strange zen sense, this is all very comforting…not to mention romantic, however…as my grandfather realized…he doesn’t want to go, at least not like this.

He accused my father and his brothers of hiding this bit of information from him, which they did…for his own sake - asked them why they didn’t tell him earlier, not knowing that this bit of information could have turned his responsive chemotherapy into disappointing results. I have always believed that one should be told as soon as the doctor knew, and to witness this first hand…I’m not so sure anymore. However to witness a man who once was head of the household, who brought his wife and 5 children over from Taiwan and raised them in the pacific northwest go from making all the decisions to having nearly every decision made for him is a depressing sight. I hate hospitals and if I could have it, I’d never step foot in one again, however over the past two weeks I’ve been in that hospital more then I have in the past 2 years. So what the future holds now is in anyone’s deck of cards; if you smoke and think cancer won’t touch you, that you have years to re-grow your lungs, think twice. My grandfather quick cold turkey one day when I was 2, that was 25 years ago, and cancer’s got him good.

So this is what’s been on my mind for the past 2 weeks, up until now only the closest of you knew this bit. However everything seems to be turning upside down this week. Although I am thankful for my core group of friends, and seriously you wouldn’t be there if I couldn’t count on you. However, people who I thought I could count on - I couldn’t count on. Things that I thought were fool proof, proved fool worthy, and the fact that someone broke my fusion razor and laid it out on the bathroom counter for me to find last week…only to throw the thing away this morning when I got off my ass to buy refills for it…that was the straw that broke this donkey’s back. Seriously, what the fuck?! Leave my stuff alone, it’s done nothing to you and I haven’t said it was garbage. This of course is probably aimed at my father, I mean who else would touch my razor and my folks are the only ones who stay at this condo when I’m gone. Of course, I couldn’t say that to him, nor is it really worth confronting over. After all, it’s just another morning date with the disposable bic right? Thank goodness I have a stock of those for travel and moments such as this.

Well, I’m tired. I hate people, and really don’t want to talk to anyone right now. Nor do I want to list everything else that’s gone ‘wrong’ with my week. Hopefully this week will be better…not just for me, but for the bunch of you as well, and if all goes well I’ll be back to my optimist self by tomorrow. I mean, my grandfather has seemingly come to terms with his condition, and for the first time in 2 weeks, showed a strong will to live. Things will work out, we’ll just need to give everything time. That being said, I’m going to continue to be a grouch today, and fall asleep with a grudge.

-Wallace

As popular a vacation spot that Hawaii is, I’ve never been - so when the opportunity arose over the holidays I jumped on it. Although I was fighting a cold as soon as I landed, I truly had a fantastic time. Crystal, and her family were more then accommodating. I felt right at home, abet sleeping on an air mattress in the living room with their dog Akiko. Which I gotten to know quite well over my stay.

To say I had a relaxing time in Hawaii would be an over statement, I actually had quite a packed agenda and although time did not fly as I hoped it wouldn’t I did not exactly get to experience the Hawaii I imagined either. Everyday was a new adventure and everything went according to plan except meeting up with Larry and Clara on my first night as they took a nap at 7pm (Hawaii time) and did not wake up until 5am. In the meantime Crystal and I pigged out at Curry House, who would have thought gyoza and chicken karage covered in curry would be good eats? Well…after writing that I’m wondering why I never thought of it before.

Curry House was just the start of my hawaiian culinary education, as with anything there’s an decadent method to things and there’s a more practical approach. Crystal’s mentality in Hawaii is there’s such an abundance of delicious, filling and over all just darn good cheap food that there’s no real reason why we should blow bacon on big ticket hyped up meals. My introduction to the Hawaiian plate lunch was an entirely divine one, as we chowed down on the ocean front lawn on one of the parks on Waikiki Beach. We would cover everything from Leonard’s Malasadas, to Giovanni’s Shrimp Plates, to Zippy’s, to Nobu and Pineapple Room - not to mention the home cooking of Crystal’s mother Paulette and grandmother Gerri. There were two breakfast items that I fell in love with - baked pancakes and fried mochi, again…never in my world would I have thought to fry mochi then dust them with sugar and kinako for breakfast.

There were more then just a handful of friends in Hawaii as well; already mentioned Larry and Clara, but Walter and Jill were in town as well. It was awesome to catch up with the both of them, we haven’t hung out since their nuptial in Santa Barbara. I mean, the conversation between Walter (not a local Hawaiian) and Crystal (a native Hawaiian, although ‘not public schooled’ in her mother’s words) about Sidestreet Inn was just hilarious, “You’re a local?” Walter questioned.

My cousins, their parents, and everyone else in the wedding party was in town as well - however it was not just tough but impossible to meet up with them as they were on the other side of the island, and I was warned not to travel on the connecting freeway after 10pm or so due to the amount of drunk drivers on the road, the nightly news confirmed the warnings. Nearly every evening there was an hit and run, sometimes a motorcycle and often another vehicle. scary.

I believe we did most the the usual tourist stuff. Everything from trekking Diamond Head to walking through Punchbowl to shopping in Waikiki and snorkeling through Hanuama Bay. Andrew and Glendy’s wedding afforded us the chance to check out Kualoa Ranch, where they grow macadamia nuts and shot parts of Jurassic Park, Lost, 50 First Dates, and so forth. I also got the opportunity to meet, chat it up and watch Shawn Starr work. Andrew and Glendy selected him to shoot their wedding photos and watching him work with the less then optimal weather and limited equipment was nothing less then inspiring, although…we’re going to have to wait for the photos to see the actual results.

Through the entire experience Crystal was an excellent tour guide, although I would rather her not feel such an obligation she told me that she enjoyed herself as well, especially as this was the first time she’s returned and did not suffer any ailments. I unfortunately got the cold this time. She was more then patient, made sure I was enjoying myself and although lenient with me looking for food, finicking with my cameras, or complaining about the humidity she also made sure we were right on schedule. Although the taxi up to Hanauma Bay was probably the defining moment for the both of us.

I mean, my trip was planned right up until the moment I left. The few hours prior to my flight we zipped through town checking off as many boxes as we could off my wishlist. I figured out what poi was - I didn’t exactly like it, nor do I crave it now…but Crystal enjoys it, especially with kualoa pig. I got Zippy’s chili, visited the Baskin Robbins that Obama worked at while a youth and made it out to Pearl Harbor where we solemnly strolled through the grace of the USS Arizona memorial, and while Crystal gave chase to a mongoose I snapped photos of the USS Bowline and finally, a pleasant surprise to me I caught the SBX-1 off in the distance.

I had an memorable trip out to Oahu. It was great to escape the troubles that waited for me back at home. Even though I complained about the humidity almost daily, I really did not want to return. Usually I’m sitting at the airport terminal (oh, by the way, those idiots who designed HNL could not have put my arrival and departure terminal further. I had to walk ALL the way from and to the end…if you have, you know.) I’m thinking about how much I missed my own bed, and the smell of SJC or SFO (yes, they’re dumps…but they’re my airports). Although I did in fact missed my bed, I couldn’t help wonder what another week in Hawaii would have had in store for me.

One conversation that will always stick with me was the when we were arguing about how pineapples grow. I asked Crystal if they grew on trees, you know like coconuts. She corrected me, saying that they grew underground - Dole had to dig them up, wash them, then ship them. I told her no way, maybe they grew like squash but definitely not underground. After we arrived at the Dole plantation I was about to give her credit as I saw little pineapple plants that sprouted from the soil, nearly convinced until I looked over and not 3 feet over were tiny pinapples that were growing as buds. I looked at Crystal and all she had to say was, “Oops!”

Thanks to all of you who have contributed and made this vacation a memorable one. Hopefully, next time more of you could come and we could island hop.

Oahu - Flickr Album
Hanauma Bay - Flickr Album
Oahu, point and shoot - Flickr Album

-Wallace

It’s been a long time coming, and every once in the universe someone decides pop the question and add solidity to an already committed relationship. Andrew asked my cousin Glendy if she’d take his hand in marriage some time ago while in Hawaii.

For their nuptial they decided to bring everyone back to the ’scene of the crime.’ - and we applaud this decision, for we had a fabulous time at Kualoa Ranch. It was the first wedding we’ve attended this year, and it’s going to be a hard act to top. Surreal location, more then enough entertainment, and that dinner was seriously one of the best wedding meal’s I’ve had the pleasure to consume. There are a few moments where I wish I could stomach more, and this was certainly one of them.

Congrats guys, you make a great couple and have brought smiles to everyone around you. Two of the most unself-centered folks that I personally know. From here on out, all the best.

Andrew & Glendy - Flickr Album

-Wallace